In this email:

1. A very personal reflection
2. Next free workshop
3. 3 Top Videos
4. Workshop Recording
5. Recent popular Tweet
6. Offering from a colleague
7. Feature article: When The Thing You Can’t Do Is The Thing You Must Do

Hi Reader,

I've been having this weird experience lately of alternating quickly between feeling overwhelmed by all the things that I want to do and the plans that I have, and like I've got things handled and my plans are good and I can deal with all the stuff.

I'm no stranger to existing in dichotomies of both-and. It's a familiar part of the healing and growth that I've been going through since I figured out eight years ago that I'm Autistic.

It's uncomfortable, but I've been through this enough that I'm able to trust the process, and know that it will resolve, and that I'll feel much better soon.

I try to keep in mind that what is happening is that part of my brain and thinking are clinging to all the ways of thinking that no longer serve me, and which I'm gradually letting go of, but letting go of them feels a little bit like dying, and they're hanging on for dear life.

There are also parts of my brain and thinking that are being birthed and growing and thriving, and are starting to take over my functioning (in a good way), but they're still gaining strength and testing out their wings, as it were, and don't always have the upper hand.

This reminds me of a phrase that I clung to in the first few years post-identification: "I am in formation." This process, while uncomfortable, is me becoming who I will be. And I like who I'm becoming.

Right now this involves working through the practicalities of things like trusting another person to help me in my business, and putting out e-books, and learning about taxes, and what feels like 1,000 other minutia and details, and sometimes I'm overwhelmed, and sometimes I'm hopeful and excited and getting all the things done, but either way, I know that I'm going to be OK.

Because the truth is that I can handle it. And if it takes longer than I would like to get it all sorted and figured out, it's OK. It's going to be OK.

I wanted to share this with you because I don't think I'm alone in this. The individual circumstances of what you're dealing with right now are probably different than my particular circumstances, but the experience of the old way of thinking and the new way of thinking vying for the upper hand, and flipping between the two frequently, I'm wondering if you can relate to that?

If so, you're not alone. This is a part of the process. If you stick with it, stay in the process, keep sorting out what you need to sort out, it will get better.

The article I've included at the bottom is along the same line. I hope you get something useful out of it.

Wishing you a neurowonderful day,
Heather

P.S. If you're looking for support in this process, and calming for your nervous system, the Safe and Sound Protocol might be helpful. Read more here to see if it's what you've been looking for.

P.P.S. An early heads-up: I'm taking off time to rest and restore and come back energized, the last two weeks of March and the first week of April.

​

Next Free Public Workshop

What to Expect in the Later Identified Autism Journey

Are you figuring out as an adult that you’re Autistic, not broken, weird (in a bad way), or wrong after all?

Are you working on figuring out what that means for your future, and reframing your past with this new info?

Are you feeling lost and found, happy and angry, confused and clear, questioning and hopeful?

And wondering a lot what to do next, what comes next in the process, and how to make this new understanding of yourself benefit you and hopefully make things better?

That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this workshop.

Based on my own experience and having accompanied dozens of others through the process, here’s an overview of what to expect and some practical tips for each phase of the unfolding Journey.

Tuesday, May 14th
12 PM PT - 3 PM ET - 8 PM BST

3 Top Videos

Links to transcripts are in the video descriptions.
​

​What about stress you can’t reduce?​

​

​How to Push Back Against Painful Thinking​

​

​Why NOT Get the Worst Over With First​

​

Workshop Recording

Alternative, Sustainable Income Sources for Autistics and AuDHDers

Here’s the recording of my most recent free workshop. There's a link to the full transcript in the description.

If you'd like the slides, you can get them for $10 USD:

In fact, you get TWO files:

1. All the slides, and only the slides, for easy printing (if desired).
2. All the slides, plus the transcript, 6 additional worksheets, 20 extra tips, and links to all resources mentioned.

If you tried to buy this before, and had difficulty with the site, I've switched to a platform (Payhip) which specializes in digital products and should work better.
​

​

And if you already bought this and would like the slides only file, just email me and I'll get it to you.

Recent Popular Tweet​
​

Heather Cook 🦓🖖Autistic Life Coach @hmm_cook Who decided that screaming when you get burned on a hot stove is an acceptable reaction but walking out of the room when people are talking over each other is an unacceptable reaction? #ActuallyAutistic #Autistic #AuDHD #NeuroDivergent #Neurodiversity #ND 8:59 AM • Feb 3, 2024 8 Retweets 68 Likes Read 3 replies

​

Workshop for Newly Identified & Diagnosis-Seeking Autistics

Are you seeking connection with fellow newly identified autistic individuals or those searching out a diagnosis who understand your journey? Do you desire an autistic teacher, mentor, coach and guide who truly comprehends the challenges of navigating a neurotypical world? Join Matthew Lawrence to explore and embrace your autistic self in a 5-week autistic life coaching program especially for newly identified and exploring autistics!

When The Thing You Can’t Do Is The Thing You Must Do

​Read this on my website here​

What’s one thing you’re excited, intrigued, or have been dreaming about, that’s physically possible for you to do, and that you’ve been stopping yourself from doing?

I’d like to talk to that part of you that says you can’t. Why can’t you? Is there fear? A practical barrier? I'm asking without judgment or shame; it's a genuine question.

What if the reason that you’ve been telling yourself that you can’t do it, is instead the reason that you must try?

Instead of, “I can’t unmask because no one will accept me,” what if it’s, “I must unmask because people already aren’t accepting this masked me?” What if it’s, “I need to find out who will accept the real me.”

Instead of, “I can’t take the plunge without absolute certainty it will work out,” what if it’s “I must take the plunge?” What if accepting uncertainty is why I must do it, because I need that personal growth?

For me, about a year ago, I was afraid to share more about myself and my life on social media, because I was scared that it’s not safe in the world for people like me, because someone may use that stuff against me someday, because identity theft is real.

But as I turned it around in this way, I realized that I needed to use my privilege to prepare the way for other Autistics, and to show Autistics and NDs who are struggling in the way that I was just a few years ago, that a better life is possible. I needed to live with less fear of what might happen, because sharing my story will allow others who need to hear it the opportunity to do so; a gift that I didn’t get when I was in that phase of my life.

It’s been about a year now since I’ve been more active on YouTube, Twitter, and Mastodon, and have done a couple of interviews, sharing more of my story in various ways. I’m cautious not to give out private info that could lead to identity theft, but I remind myself that it’s not all or nothing.

I can share some things and not everything. I can hold back some things and not everything. In the past, I was either a closed book or far too open with people, and neither was comfortable (or safe) for me or others. But I’m experimenting and learning how to keep myself safe in a fluid, ever-changing middle path. Is this a perfect scenario? Nope. Will there be times when it backfires? Possibly. Can I handle it? Yes. I can handle it better than I ever could before, and I’m getting better every year.

What else can you handle better now than you could in the past?

By the way, be careful not to use this idea to talk yourself into staying in abusive or toxic situations, hurting yourself, or accepting injustice. This is about doing things that you really, truly want, but are talking yourself out of for reasons that may not be as relevant as they once were, or as much as your anxiety thinks they are.

So, what growth edge are you ready for, that may seem scary, but also intriguing and exciting?

​

About Heather
​

Hi, I’m Heather. I’m Autistic, ADHD, disabled, and building a life I love.

I coach Autistic and other neurodivergent humans on creating their own neurowonderful lives.

Want personalized support in making your life more autism-friendly? See if 1:1 coaching is a good fit for you.
​

​​​​