In this email:

1. I'm not really here...
2. ND-positive kids summer camps ebook
3. Next free workshop
4. 3 Latest Videos
5. Recent popular Tweet
6. Feature article: What I Know About Rest

Hi Reader,

As this is hitting your inbox, I'll be in an airport, heading to faraway lands to rest and restore. Will there be stereotypically beautiful beaches involved? Yes. Will I partake? Not likely. It'll be too cold still, and I'm not much of a beach-goer anyway, but I do love the views.

I'll tell you a little about it when I get back.

In the meantime, I'm including an article I wrote a year ago, about rest, and some other goodies from me.

By the way, I won't be replying to emails or social media while I'm off. I'm really off. I'll get back to you when I'm back, in mid-April.

Wishing you a neurorestful day,
Heather

P.S. I'll be gone for the last week of March and the first two weeks of April, and expect to come back energized.

P.P.S. If you're interested in very mild, gentle sensory prompts delivered to you by email daily, check out Sensory Moments.

Autism-Friendly Camps Guide

How To Pick Neurodivergent-Affirming Camps Your Kid Will Love

Are you tired of wasting time scouring the internet for summer camps, or after school activities, or therapists, who are actually going to be accepting and affirming of your kid's (or your own) neurodiversity?

Are you frustrated trying to tell if they really mean it, or are just using the latest buzz words?

That's why I put together this guide, on how to screen out, reject, and identify autism- and ND-affirming programs.

This isn't just for summer camps. The principles here apply to any and every kind of activity, after school program, treatment, therapeutic provider, caretaker for hire, event, group, etc.

In fact, I've been using these principles for several years to pick out groups that I want to be a part of, and people I want to work with.

It's really about how to tell if someone or some group is actually accepting or if they just say that they are.

26 pages
​Dozens of hours saved
$15

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Next Free Public Workshop

What to Expect in the Later Identified Autism Journey

Are you figuring out as an adult that you’re Autistic, not broken, weird (in a bad way), or wrong after all?

Are you working on figuring out what that means for your future, and reframing your past with this new info?

Are you feeling lost and found, happy and angry, confused and clear, questioning and hopeful?

And wondering a lot what to do next, what comes next in the process, and how to make this new understanding of yourself benefit you and hopefully make things better?

That’s what we’re going to be talking about in this workshop.

Based on my own experience and having accompanied dozens of others through the process, here’s an overview of what to expect and some practical tips for each phase of the unfolding Journey.

Tuesday, May 14th
12 PM PT - 3 PM ET - 8 PM BST

3 Latest Videos

Links to transcripts are in the video descriptions.
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​Do People Really Want Honesty? Part 1​

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​Do People Really Want Honesty? Part 2​

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​Getting out of burnout means change​

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Recent Popular Tweet​
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Heather Cook 🦓🖖Autistic Life Coach @hmm_cook If you have sensory issues, they often get more intense when you are sick or stressed or worried or tired. If you're all of those, they could get very intense, very quickly. #ActuallyAutistic #Sensory #NeuroDivergent #Neurodiversity 9:24 AM • Mar 15, 2024 6 Retweets 52 Likes Read 2 replies

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What I Know About Rest

​Read this on my website here​

A client recently told me “I don’t know a lot about resting,” and it got me thinking about how I don’t either. I’ve gotten a lot better at resting in the last few years, when I was seriously bad at it prior. I mean truly terrible. If resting had come up and bit me in the butt, I would have complained about the bite mark.

In fact, that’s pretty much what I did because burnout forced me to rest and I complained, and cried, and whined, and ruminated my way through. Through multiple burnouts. Before I paid attention.

I’ve gotten a lot better, and I’ve learned a lot, but I’m far from perfect. I’m far from decent, frankly. I still have to convince myself multiple times a day that it’s okay to rest. So take everything that I’m about to say with a grain of salt. I’m just going to flat out say upfront that everything I’m about to say is probably bullshit, it won’t apply to you, and you can safely ignore me.

On that cheery note, here are six things I think I know about rest.

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1. It feels unfamiliar

You can get so used to being busy that resting actually feels painful. It’s supposed to be restorative, right? It’s supposed to feel good, right? You’re supposed to want to do this thing, right? But when your standard M.O. is 110%, doing anything differently feels so unfamiliar that it’s scary and sometimes awful.

Your nervous system is like “What the hell? This isn’t what we’re used to, and I don’t know how to do this. So this is bad, right?” and that bad feeling can drive you, or at least me, to want to keep going because it just feels normal. It feels familiar.

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2. We’re bad at it

We US-Americans are really terrible at resting. I don’t know how it is in other parts of the world, but I don’t think it’s just us. I think a lot of the western industrialized world has gotten really bad at resting. I know a priest who said on every feast day that our modern culture is really bad at feasting. We know how to fast. We know how to deny ourselves. We know how to sacrifice, but we don’t know how to enjoy, and I think he’s right.

Tell someone to feast and they just think of overindulging in food, but that’s not really feasting. That’s not enjoying the experience in a congratulatory and joyful way.

Ask a lot of modern industrialized westerners to rest and the only ideas we can come up with are spa days, bubble baths, and lying on the couch, scrolling through your phone or watching TV in your pajamas. I have nothing against any of that, and they can be restful, but it’s a very limited scope of what rest could look like. And it’s possible to do every one of those in an overly anxious and worried mindset. So the activities themselves are not inherently restful.

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3. Worry and rest don’t mix

You’re not resting when you’re worried, ruminating, obsessing, freaking out, overwhelmed, getting on your own case, or judging yourself or others. Even if you’re not physically doing much, or anything, any thoughts that include those are not restful. It doesn’t matter if you’re getting the best massage ever, floating in a perfect sensory float tank, didn’t have to go out for a week, or got to stay in your pajamas at home and have food delivered. If you’re worrying and ruminating: you’re not resting.

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4. Resting isn’t about activity

Which leads me to believe that resting isn’t about having a little, or a lot, of activity. Because you can also be restful while you’re out doing stuff. Engaging in your special interests without guilt can be restful. Some people find adventurous vacations restful, even though they’re physically active the entire time.

I think that physically doing less is necessary sometimes, especially during burnout, but once you’ve gotten past sheer physical exhaustion, I don’t think that rest has very much to do with your level of physical activity. I think it has a lot more to do with your mindset and what you’re doing, not how much.

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5. Do something you enjoy

So what you’re doing makes a difference. Since you need rest, I’m going to go out on a limb here and suggest that doing the same things you’ve been doing (i.e. working, taking care of family, running the kids to every activity imaginable, etc.) isn’t restful, but you could do other things like painting, going rock climbing, or whatever you happen to personally enjoy.

It could be crocheting, playing with animals, building a model train set, researching your new special interest, or watching a show you love. I don’t know what it’s going to be for you, but I think it has to be something different than your ordinary day to day activities in order to be restful and restorative. I also think you have to do it without guilt, shame, worry, or rumination.

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6. It doesn’t need perfection

I don’t think rest has to be perfect. I don’t think you need the perfect setup, the perfect situation, having no guilt, or no worries. I think you can get a lot out of it even when it’s imperfect, even when it’s far from ideal, even when you have no particularly original or creative ideas and you’re just sitting in your pajamas on your phone, watching something that makes you laugh. I think that can be restful, and sometimes that’s exactly what you need.

I don’t know exactly how this works. I’m doing a lot of that imperfect, not particularly creative rest and getting plenty out of it. But sometimes I also go do some cheap activity to get out of the house, like going for a drive. I’ll go see some nature, even if it’s through the car window, and it’s frickin’ cold outside. Just doing something a little bit different than usual can do a lot of good.

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Closing thoughts

I know I’ve got a lot to learn, but I’m getting better at this every month and every year.

I’m curious how this is landing for you and what you’ve figured out about rest so far; maybe how you want to translate this to your life?

Okay, I told you this wouldn’t be revelatory, and that you could probably safely ignore it. But perhaps you might have gotten one little thing out of this that you found useful?

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About Heather
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Hi, I’m Heather. I’m Autistic, ADHD, disabled, and building a life I love.

I coach Autistic and other neurodivergent humans on creating their own neurowonderful lives.

Want personalized support in making your life more autism-friendly? See if 1:1 coaching is a good fit for you.
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